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Why We Homeschool

Why do we homeschool? Our story to coming to terms with what is really best for our family – and getting over explaining it to everyone on the street.

Part of our series: 10 Reasons to Homeschool; What’s Yours?

Why we homeschool... and why we don't explain ourselves to nosy strangers. A look into the pros and cons of homeschooling and coming to terms with what REALLY works for your family.

Pros and Cons of Homeschool - Finding what's best for your family and not explaining it to anyone.

“You’re homeschooling? How lovely. WHY would you want to do that?”

Going against the mainstream opens the door to big questions about big life choices to random strangers at the post office.

You’re so brave. I could never do that. Is that even legal? Home all day with your kids? Do you think your kids are too smart for school? Do you think you’re a better teacher than real teachers? Do you not trust schools? Do you hate teachers? Are you teaching everything? What makes you qualified to do that? How will you know your kids are learning? Are you going to do this forever? Are you completely insane?

For us, homeschooling is a lifestyle choice. A big, life changing decision. We put a lot of thought into it, talked it through, and decided that this is the direction we want our lives to take. The pros seriously outweigh the cons.  There are sacrifices, but they’ll be well worth it.

Finding What Works for Your Family

We don’t fit the typical homeschool stereotypes. You know what they are. We are your completely average, right down the middle class, suburban family.  There was no big event that pushed us to choose homeschool over public school. We aren’t anti-anything or pro-anything in particular. We are just a family trying to do what works.

When you’re thinking about the pros and cons of homeschool, think about what will work for you. What is best for your children? Leave the stereotypes behind and consider what would be best for your family.

Pros and Cons of Homeschool

I’m a list-maker. When I started thinking about homeschooling my oldest son, then only just turned 4, I wrote a massive list of all the pros and cons of homeschool.

I was shocked when the pros flowed right out of the end of my pen. The cons were harder to come up with, and after just five in the con column I was out of ideas.

Pros and cons of homeschool

When the Pros Outweigh the Cons: Making the Decision to Homeschool

The pros and cons of homeschool - why we do it and why we don't explain ourselves to nosy strangers.The decision was fairly easy to make after a little research and a lot of getting-over-myself. The pros of homeschool greatly outweighed the cons, after all.

I’ve found the most difficult part of homeschooling has been a “con” I hadn’t expected: Explaining – sometimes downright defending our decision to homeschool.

I understand the curiosity. Before I started this journey I knew exactly one homeschooler. The majority of people I talk to know zero. None.

It’s  new. It’s strange. Outside the norm. Something you hear about on TV – and not in a good way. Only around 3% of all school aged children are educated at home.

I may be the first weirdo homeschooler you’ve ever met, but I won’t be the last. Alternative schooling is on the rise, whether it’s traditional homeschool, virtual school, a hybrid, or something in-between.

Related post>>> What to Say (and what NOT to say) When You Meet a Homeschool Mom

Explaining the Pros and Cons of Homeschool… Or should you?

It would be impossible to explain all the pros and cons of homeschool to everyone you meet. Besides, what you feel is a pro might be a con to someone else.

Not all curiosity is created equal. Not everyone is owed an explanation. I’m looking at you old lady in line behind me at Pack and Ship. Did she just? Did she say? Oh no she didn’t.

Family and Friends

People close to you will range from passive to confrontational, but whatever their reaction, know they care and only question us out of genuine concern. These are the questions I don’t mind.

When family and friends approach you out of genuine concern, take a few minutes to patiently explain the pros of homeschool and answer their questions about the cons. (Be prepared for the socialization question. Everyone asks.)

Everything is gonna be okay. I promise, I won’t screw up the kids any more than I was going to five minutes ago. I’m just doing it a different way.


People you sort-of know who feel like they knew you before you completely blew their mind. Oh-my-god-you’re-homeschooling-I-can’t-believe-it-you-of-all-people-why-would-you-ever-do-that?!? Then quickly, How nice for you.  

Look Acquaintances, you didn’t know me as well as you thought you did.  I didn’t mean to startle you with my odd behavior!

Your acquaintances aren’t trying to attack you (well, not in most cases), they’re just confused. They don’t understand. Keep your answers short and to the point.

When in doubt, use the answer that no one can argue with: It’s what works for us. It’s something we really want to do.

Homeschool Haters

Haters. You’ll get those. The eyebrow raise that says, I’m surprised you’re not in denim bib overalls, wearing a bonnet, riding a goat.”


How to identify a Homeschool Hater:  They don’t call you by name. Your new name is “The One Who Homeschools.”

They say things like, “Sometimes I’d like to keep my kids sheltered, too.” Or they hint around that it’s nice that you can “afford” to do something like this.

This says more about their frame of mind than it does about your lifestyle. You are not a stereotype. 

You might find homeschool haters in your circle of friends or even in your own family. You won’t change a homeschool hater’s mind in one conversation. But they also can’t change yours. Be strong in your decisions. 

Embrace your haters. Let them spur you on. To them I say, Oh yes, we homeschool. We homeschool so hard it’ll make your head spin. 

The only thing that will change a hater’s mind is showing them that homeschool works. That it works for you, for your kids, for your family. Show ’em how it’s done.

Random Strangers

People you run into on the street, at the bank, in the toilet paper aisle of the grocery store… they’re going to ask a lot of personal questions and will see a lot of resting bitch face.

I’m just here to buy some stamps. Stop questioning me and my kid and mind ya business. 

Not everyone is so combative, but meeting people outside of education and homeschool that are both knowledgeable and accepting is infrequent at best.

I’ve only been at this for a short time, and I’ve already had some thrilling experiences with the public.

Be prepared. Don’t let them surprise you. Shut them down and go on with your day.

Pros and cons of homeschool

The questions will continue, at least for the foreseeable future. I have to go to the bank tomorrow, groceries on Tuesday.

Read more from the Series: I homeschool because…


18 thoughts on “Why We Homeschool

  1. Terri Torrez says:

    I wonder if it’s because of where I live (a progressive suburb of DC) or maybe the fact that I work full time, but by far the most common reaction I get is – isn’t that a huge amount of work? How do you do it? Generally the people I meet seem envious that we can make it work. Of course there are always the exceptions. 😉

  2. Margaret Langan says:

    Thanks for the encouragement! We’ve recently decided to homeschool our kids (4 & 2) because we believe it’s the best lifestyle choice for our family as a whole. But people are NOT happy with us. I know they’ll never appreciate our pro list because they have a different frame of mind but it is tiring to hear the negativity (or eye rolls) especially after we’ve given it so much calculated thought. It’s nice to find some support for our unpopular choice!

  3. momofsix says:

    The most negative thing I’ve had said to me was when our neighbor, and a member of our church asked if our then 13 yo son was going to go to the Middle School just down the street next year. I told her no, we were going to keep homeschooling. She came back with, “Oh that’s too bad, how will he ever learn to get along in the real world?” (much better I seriously hope). The same son is a Senior this year, got a 28 on the ACT and plans to go to college to be a church musician next fall. He plays the organ at church 3 weekends a month, and is headed to the state piano competition in level F (the highest) tomorrow. The neighbor has gone to glory since that time, but I wonder what she would think if she could see him now.

    • Some Random Lady says:

      Sounds like he’l get along just fine 😉 The best response is to prove the haters wrong, and you’ve certainly done that. <3

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